Articles

Liberation

In Introductions, Plans, Scientology on December 13, 2010 by ryepdx

The holiday party was fun, though somewhat difficult. It was fortunate that wine was provided for free. At the party I was reminded again how very good of a group I was leaving, and how hard it was to be doing so, especially as I stood to gain so much if I stayed. Doing the right thing, it seems, is often incredibly difficult.

The goodbye party was somewhat awkward and short. I was thrown off a little by the fact that two members of the company were missing. These two I had hoped to say a proper farewell to, but it seemed it was not to be. I had to give a speech, which involved trying to say everything I wanted to say which I could say while still keeping it appropriate as a group address. Since this was rather short (something like, “it was great working here and I’ll miss all of you!”) I ended up repeating myself a bit to make up the time. There are a lot of different ways to say “I enjoyed working here” and “I’ll miss you,” it turns out.

15 minutes later I was finally free! As I drove down the road back to my apartment, I turned on the radio. Nirvana’s cover of Bowie’s “Man Who Sold the World” was playing. I thought it rather appropriate.

I still had one more appointment to go: I was to meet with a friend from college for coffee that evening. I spent the little bit of time until then playing on my guitar, fussing with my stash of salvaged electronics, and generally just enjoying the feeling of freedom. I had not yet started worrying about the fact that my lifeboat, so to speak, was rudderless.

Consumer whore that I am, I met her at Starbucks. She was late, which was perfect as I was only a little less late. I ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte, forgetting that I had ordered that drink before and had disliked it, and took a seat in the back of the store.

She had come in coughing, the last vestiges of the bronchitis that resulted in our meeting last Thursday being canceled and moved to that day, the Monday following. By then I was standing by the Tazo display, entranced by the tea tins. I’m a sucker for tea tins.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” I replied.

We hugged, then sat at the table.

After the initial “how are you”s and such, we fell to talking about our relationships. Her boyfriend was a logical introvert, while she herself was a bit more on the emotional side, so she had a lot of insights about how to make such a pairing work. I joked, suggesting that she write a book someday. “And hey,” I said, “I could help you write it, seeing as that’s what I’m doing these days.”

“How is that going, by the way?” She asked.

I told her about my exodus and how I had begun to keep a blog to help garner support for my efforts as a writer and musician. “I’m terrified,” I confessed.

“Yeah,” she said, “it does seem like a rather un-Ryan-like move.”

“I know. I’m all logical normally, right?”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” she said. “You’re determined. That counts for a lot.”

“Thanks,” I said. Then I spilled my guts about what I was hoping to do, which, due to the lack of detail in my plans at that point, didn’t take all that long.

One thing I’ve been impressed with so far in my nascent journey as a writer and musician is the level of support I’ve gotten from the people around me. Without that support, I do not doubt it would be impossible for me achieve what I hope. It’s one thing to work alone and quite another to work with the comfort of friends.

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One Response to “Liberation”

  1. Hey there!! Good luck on your music and writing career. You’ll do great. I’m glad you’re surrounded by supportive people. 🙂

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