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Insomniacs, UNITE!

In Plans, Slice of Life on January 5, 2011 by ryepdx Tagged: , , ,

I am crazy-busy. I have a much bigger (i.e., more demanding) freelance job on my hands than I thought I had, and that marketing start-up that interviewed me all those weeks ago just now sent me an e-mail with some work to be done. Just thought I should let you know. Otherwise my decision to stay up until 10am last night… er… this morning… might strike you as rather odd and ill-conceived. It seems my mind has been abuzz and my fingers tingling with entrepreneurial optimism and excitement. “Irrational exuberance,” some might say. I blame Cory Doctorow‘s book, Makers. (Started reading it a couple days ago.)

I’m going to be moving in to an artist’s community soon. It was, in a former life, a senior care home, and has all the warmth and homeliness that one might expect. Still, the people there have managed to breathe life into it and animate its dimly lit, eggshell white halls. My bandmate lives there too, don’cha’ know, so my band should start getting more active as well. Expect more songs.

Speaking of songs and bandmates, the same bandmate has been writing a musical. Perhaps I’ll share a link here when she finishes. She’s been working on it hard recently in hopes of completing it and shipping it off to the east coast by January 10th. That’s the deadline to apply for the residency program she found over there. She happened to be working on it when I came over to check out the vacancies.

Bandmate: “Hey! Want to sing on a couple of my tracks?”

Me: “Sure!”

So I spent an extra hour and a half over there singing and talking in character voices that, for the most part, sounded vaguely like Sean Connery. It was stupid amounts of fun.

The freelance job I mentioned earlier, on the other hand, has been a pain in the neck. The whole experience is helping me realize that, though I am good at programming and though I can make good money programming, programming for dollars gets to me after a while. Couple that with the “gee-whiz” optimism soaking every page of that book I’m reading and you have me itching to go do something I like to do, something I want to do, and make money off it.

Right now I have some pretty cool ideas rolling around in my head. I’m hoping to get those off the ground and then perhaps sell them. I get a bit ADD sometimes and I know that I’ll get sick of those projects a year or two into them. The point is just to see them off. I also have my music and writing, which will always be ongoing; I’ve learned I can’t ignore any aspect of myself with good result.

And perhaps all this optimism and manic energy is no more than a wave washing over me. Maybe reality is stark and gray. But it’s warmer here, under the wave, and it does me no harm to hope and dream. It’s a good break from all the uncertainty and nervousness I’ve been dealing with up until now. Of course, I’ve got to be smart about my dreaming, keeping my feet on the ground and all that. I heard from my girlfriend that a number of people in her criminal justice courses who hope to become cops are just shy of the average police retirement age. Some moves are smarter than others. Some moves do bring us closer to our goals, and others don’t, and it’s not always possible to see which are which.

It helps me to realize, when I get lost in that kind of indecision, that no one profession or work will fulfill a person. I think we all have basic desires and needs we’re all trying to meet in one way or another, and I think there are a million ways to meet them. If you want to help people, for example, you don’t have to be a cop. If you have that desire and you don’t become a cop, you haven’t precluded yourself from having an enormously fulfilling life.

But now I’m rambling. You can see how I’d have troubling sleeping with thoughts like this, yeah? At any rate, I ought to go bang on that freelance job a bit more. I hope you all have a good Wednesday, and stay tuned: this Friday I’ll have a video for you of that new song I wrote!

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